- You lose arguments with inanimate objects
- You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the earth
- Job interfering with your drinking
- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream
- Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts
- The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat
- Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group
- 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence, i think not!
- Two hands and just one mouth, now that's a drinking problem
- "Norm!" is what they say when you enter the bar
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