You might be a redneck if...

• The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than you.
• You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
• You take a six-pack cooler to church.
• You have to go outside to go to the fridge.
• One of your kids was born on a pool table.
• You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
• You think Taco Bell is the mexican phone company.
• You think possum is "the other white meat."
• You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
• You think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.
• Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
• Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
• Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
• Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."